... And I shuddered again, realizing that what he was looking for, in this hellhole of a place, I finally had found it, deep inside the last look of a distressed, tortured woman. Hidden between the woundd, the lies, the instinct to survive, I saw it as a shadow passing before the trigger, the barrel pointed to the forefront of the terrified woman, as she realized what I was gonna do.
I felt fear in her eyes, but that changed as she looked up and locked up her's with mine's. Shock came and went, as she saw the horror in my eyes, and her glance became less fearful. Her face unlocked from the frozen state it was since she was brought to the room, and her whole being seemed to relax itself a little. She looked away from my face then came back on it, her eyes seemingly asking me, to not look away from her.
To help her.
Before I had understood what I was doing, my left hand had brought back up the semi-automatic, setting it up squarely in her forefront. My eyes never quitted her's, and, just before the detonation, I saw it in her eyes, tears falling down silently on her cheeks, and, out of that face that had seen so many hardships, a small smile opened up, as if only for me.
As if thanking me.
Then her whole body shook down, and fell on the floor. Numbness took me, far stronger than ever before. I stood in her shadow, or her as a shadow of mine, indifferent to world around me, the people shrieking, guns being pointed at me.
A hand appeared on my shoulder. Jack-h looked at me quizically, not angry nor even annoyed, even though I had killed his merchandise, and fucked up the party. He then shrugged and smiled. "Money for you, then." In his other hand, a bottle of brandy came up, shoving it in my empty hand, as he pushed me out of the the place.
I didn't resist, I didn't even realize I was moving. When I started to look around me again, I was a hundred meters from the party, and the music was stomping on again.
I closed my eyes, opened them again, still I kept seeing her face. What was haunting me was not the fear, the horror, the fact that I had killed her. In her eyes, I thought I had seen it, milliseconds before the last tug of the trigger, beneath the fear and the exhaustion. Peace. Peace of mind.
